Why I Avoid Orgasms During My Pregnancy

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A year ago, I fell pregnant. To say that I was excited and over the moon is an absolute understatement. I had never known a joy quite like it.

The first time I saw a heartbeat at 6.5 weeks was amazing. Then when I saw it slowly grow into a mini human at 8.5 weeks I was beyond overjoyed at the miracle of life growing inside me.

That week, during sex with my partner, something happened. After an orgasm I was crippled with a intense pain in my pelvic area. It lasted somewhere between 5-7 seconds then passed. I had often heard of women having some pelvic pain and discomfort after sex, so after the pain passed, I shrugged it off.

That week, during sex with my partner, something happened. After an orgasm I was crippled with a intense pain in my pelvic area.

The next day all was normal. I didn’t have any pain, and went along my daily business.

Then it happened.

I went to the bathroom and when I wiped I had blood. I was in a complete panic. I called my doctor and specialist who advised that it’s actually not an abnormal occurrence to have minor bleeding after sex – particularly if the blood was brown, which generally indicated old blood. Hearing this was like music to my ears.

In the days that followed however, the bleeding didn’t stop. It got worse. I had more blood and it had turned to a rich red colour blood. I also started cramping and passing small clots. After visiting my specialist, I was diagnosed as going through a miscarriage.

It wasn’t until many months later during my first comprehensive haemotologist appointment, that I was discovered to have a platelet dysfunction. I was told that when bleeding starts in my body, my platelets were poorly functioning which made it take a lot longer for the bleeding to stop. When I asked my haemotologist about how this impacted pregnancy, I was told that heavy lifting, intense exercise, exertion, or anything that made the uterus contract, could risk a slight tear in the placenta which my body (given the platelet dysfunction) would find more difficult to repair.

It’s tough going, but since orgasms do cause the uterus to contract, this time around I have avoided orgasms. I haven’t given up sex, but my partner and I do have a much more gentle approach this time round.

Is it worth it? Absolutely.

For the safety of both me and my baby, I wouldn’t have it any other way.


This story is a REAL LETTER sent from Sammy, 29 yo, Melbourne, Australia. Edited by DearBub.

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